Longsuffering. Very Long.

Darkness is my world. It engulfs me. Surrounds me.

It is me.

I am blind. Trapped from birth in a cocoon of what others have described as the color black. 

I’ve never seen my parents’ faces, though I’ve memorized their contours with my fingers and have my own idea of what their faces might be like. I’m acutely attuned to their voices and can pick them out of a noisy crowd–whether they’re bartering in the market or praying with others at the synagogue. 

There’s so much I long to see! From trees to sunsets to the birds that wake me with sweet song . . . this world seems bursting with so many wonders. 

And yet, for some reason, God has withheld the gift of sight from me. 

Some say it is because I’ve done something so awful, so evil, that blindness is what my sin has deserved. I hear the whispers when I stumble by with my walking stick, groping with my free hand. My hearing makes up for what my eyes are lacking. The faintest whisper is like a slap across my face.

They may be right. Though I don’t understand how my sin at birth could’ve been any worse than another tiny baby’s–but maybe it was.

 

Or maybe the other voices are right. The ones that accuse my parents of having sinned so grievously that God has punished them with a blind child. 

I am their burden to bear. I am the rod of discipline in the hands of an angry God. I am punishment personified.

But that sounds all wrong. I know my parents–probably better than most children know their own. They have been my sight. They have remained beside me, guiding my feet, describing the world, feeding me with words of encouragement while everyone else wishes for me to starve because I am less than them.

So that explanation doesn’t make sense to me either. Though they are not perfect, they certainly have shown more love than anyone else. More than the church, the Pharisees, the Rabbi. Isn’t God supposed to be love? Couldn’t God do something about my pain if he wanted? Will anyone tell me how I might appease God and at least be accepted by my fellow man? 

Instead, I am shunned. Given pity in the form of a few coins. Told to keep out of the way, especially at the synagogue. 

I cannot see and therefore I am not seen.

I am not known.

I do not matter. 

Why, then, do I exist?

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Today I was listening to John 9. It’s the story about Jesus healing the blind man. (But I used women in my photos because this story applies to everyone on some level).

You’re probably familiar with it, but here’s a little recap:

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” John 9:1-3

I was struck by the length of time it took for this man to understand the purpose of his blindness. (Not to mention that EVERYONE ELSE misunderstood it, as well). Scripture says he was a man, which means he had to have been at least late teens, early twenties. Maybe older.

He had not lost his sight at some point, due to an accident or illness. No, he had lived his entire life in darkness. Blind to both the world around him AND the reason for his blindness.

In fact, he had been fed a steady diet of lies about his blindness. Every day he lived with the accusations of others and, no doubt, of his inner self.

He was less worthy than the rest of the population that could see. He was a greater sinner than others, obviously. He was not from the right kind of family–or this would never have happened.

But then…

Then one day Jesus’ light intersected with this man’s darkness.

Turns out this blindness hadn’t been about the sin of this man, his parents, or anyone else.

It’s been about what God wanted to do in his life.

And let’s clarify: Jesus wasn’t surprised to come across this man and find him blind. This was no coincidence. He didn’t look at this poor guy and think, “How sad! You know, I can do something about this. #RandomActofKindness.”

No. This man’s life and Jesus’ life had been on a collision course, planned by God, since before the creation of earth.

…he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will…Ephesians 1:4

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

This man was chosen. His particular suffering, his blindness, had been sifted through the loving hands of God. He had been “created” this way for “the purpose of His will”. Blindness was a disguised blessing in this man’s life, though it took twenty years to come to fruition.

That’s a long, long time, folks.

I know I would not have seen it as a blessing. I don’t often recognize my short-term suffering as potentially something good from God. I’m an impatient person in an immediate gratification world. Click & Tweet!

Though the words patience and longsuffering are used interchangeably in scripture, depending on the translation, I like the precise word picture that longsuffering invokes.

There’s no ambiguity to it.

Suffering can feel like forever. Interminable. To infinity and beyond.

Friend, what have you been suffering? What long term sickness, relational problem, or financial distress have you been trying to bear? Have you given up asking why? Have you stopped hoping for anything to change? Do you feel forsaken? Isolated? Hopeless?

I pray this story might encourage you today. That it will renew your faith to trust God despite the silence that has echoed back when you have prayed. Despite the lies you might be believing. Despite the accusations, the pain, the exhaustion.

God is at work. He is! And although He may not choose to answer with an instantaneous miracle (though He might), His answer, His way of leading us through a situation, is exactly what we need, the way we need it, though often we won’t recognize it until we’ve made it through.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I pray you will find the strength to ask for faith, to pray that He might help your unbelief, to pray for light to be shed in your dark place.

I pray for longsuffering in the midst of your long suffering.

And don’t ask in solitude. Please let me know how I might pray for you today!