Every year it gets stolen. Every. Year.
That ugly, pear-shaped creature with the frizzled hair and a micro-heart comes along disguised as my December calendar and snatches away much of what I feel Christmas should be. And every year, about this time, I’m mourning the passing of another season without all of the Norman Rockwell trimmings that I envision. 
Grant it, much of what I hope to accomplish (baking, caroling, reading in front of the fire, quiet moments marveling that the God of the Universe became a helpless baby) is a bit idyllic. But to enjoy even a smidgeon of those sugarplum ideals that dance in my head would be refreshing. Instead, there are rehearsals, performances, more rehearsals, more performances, parties, and more parties. Not to mention shopping and wrapping and baking and eating.
Each of those things are wonderful, in and of themselves, but they are so very CONSTANT that the wonder of the holiday gets snatched away. The glory of the gospel becomes squelched by the immediacy of the moment. And I don’t know how to change it.
Everything seems important. There are commitments from a semester of school, and party traditions that bring dear friends back into my life that I haven’t seen since last Christmas. What to do? How can I effect a change that would offer a sliver of time to just…savor? So many demands wear me out and steal my joy in what should be “the most wonderful time of the year.”
This Christmas brought more demands than ever. Add to the normal amount of overcommitment: a surprise trip to the emergency room for my poor mom—along with immediate surgery and a two week stint in the hospital . . . throw in a hard-hitting cold (mine, not hers) . . . grown kids that come home for a visit (which is a GOOD thing, but still a NEW event that is added to the regular ones) . . . and a trip to the in-laws for four days . . . and this equals: one exhausting Yule Tide.
Though it may sound like I’m complaining, I’m really venting (which isn’t quite the same thing). Though God’s grace is ALWAYS felt and sufficient, I would like to step out of Seasonal Survival Mode. I need wisdom on what and how to make that happen. If you, dear reader, have struggled and overcome in the fray of this battle, please share! I’m seriously interested in reforming my ways and/or expectations.
Here’s a picture left by the tree for me, by my youngest, who was 8 at the time (she is 16 now). Talk about being stabbed in the heart with sorrow and guilt! It reads, “It is Christmas time, Mom. Come out of your doors!” (Translation: stop working and enjoy the fact that it’s Christmas!) 
I was wrapping presents, locked away in my room, while the kids were out playing in some rare Christmas snow. In my defense, I don’t usually have an opportunity to wrap presents until a day or two before Christmas, so it had/has to get done. Yet every year I’m still in the same predicament (minus any snow, sadly).
Perhaps my idea of what Christmas should resemble is what needs to change. I honestly feel like the busyness is unavoidable. I do as much shopping as I can online to forego time consuming trips to the mall. I’m not looking for anything extra to add, the demands are just THERE. Part and parcel to classes, piano lessons, and church life. There are plenty of opportunities that I DO turn down, quite often.
With the unexpected addition of many hours traveling to and staying at the hospital this year, another thing the Grinch managed to steal was my blog posts! This blog was something I chose to cut out while things were crazy. Even now, with my Mom staying with me for awhile, it’s unlikely I can stick to my once a week commitment. I’ve started working with my editor on my novel that’s due out in the spring and, frankly, that’s going to be my writing priority when time to write presents itself. As of this moment, it is 2 AM and I am only now getting this post written and polished :-/
And so . . . with nothing resolved, and the quandary still fresh, I ask for your advice, input, and personal experiences to be left in the comments. Surely you guys have some similar war stories!
Ultimately, I want to reflect on—and reflect from within—the beauty of what Christmas represents. It never grows old or blasé to me. But most years, I’m so plowed under with the busyness of the season, I can’t pause to actually enjoy the communion of Emanuel, God with us.
Which means I’m missing the point entirely.
Thanks for sharing! It seems like this is more common than not, these days, don’t you think?
Well, at keast we aren’t alone 🙂
Happy New Year!
This is rough, for sure. I’m in retail, and ended up working all kinds of crazy hours (not to mention family events), and reflecting on it today, like you, I feel like I missed the season entirely. It’s a blessing to read the thoughts and ideas of others for slooooowing it down. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
It does seem to happen a lot!
Love and understand the post!
Thanks, dear friend! I know you’ve walked through several years worth of my Decembers and have much experience with expectations vs. reality. I do like the idea of wrapping when you get your items, and I think that may work when I have a more normal (yet busy) December (I was hardly home all day long, every day, this time around).
I’m such a visual person that the whole atmosphere of Christmas is part of the beauty. But there’s certainly no reason I can’t take a day or two with music and COFFEE (LOL), and contemplation. That would still be a special time that would redeem what I missed! Thanks for the encouragement and ideas.
My friend, Kathy tells me she has resolved to wrap her online-bought gifts the day they arrive in the mail. This keeps her for having one long day behind the doors. I think that’s a great idea, and I think I will add to that having bags and tissue on hand so that I can just cram whatever in a bag and cover it with tissue.
My life has become necessarily more sedate since my husband’s stroke, so I have had to be much more selective about parties and events. Perhaps each invitation you get next year needs to be carefully considered and prayed over before accepting. I have enjoyed the quiet and contemplation that comes with having to stay home.
One other note I would give you. We confessional Reformed Baptists are prone to say that the resurrection is something we celebrate every Sunday, as opposed to designating it all to one day a year (believing Christian liberty gives us freedom to celebrate extra if we want on the designated holiday). Perhaps we need to start thinking in terms of that with the birth of Christ as well. Why does the contemplation have to take place in December? Once things slow down a bit, take a day and contemplate with a quiet cup of tea and a bit of Christmas music.
I can’t think of anything that reflects the spirit of Christmas more than serving others. The gift you have given to your mother in that has been more lasting and valuable that anything that could have been wrapped and put under a perfectly coiffed tree.
As for your blog – we will live until you get back.
Oh you poor dear! This is just exhausting to read. I don’t know if I have any great words of advice, but I do know the feeling. Even though I was able to farm out the work that needed to be done for our church’s mini-conference, I felt like there was far more going on in December than usual this year, which may be why I’m sick. I hope you find a solution to the problem. The only thing I can think of is delegate. Instead of wrapping presents behind closed doors, invite someone in to help you and do their presents separately. The hard part is cutting back means you will have to say no. No to someone or something. 🙁
I hope you find a solution so that you can enjoy the holiday!
Thanks, friend! Of all people, i thought you would have a magic wand to loan me 😉
Yes, this year’s wrapping BEGAN at 10 pm Christmas Eve. Included my daughters and cheesy movie.
Im sure there are many ways I can delegate other things…they just haven’t come to my attention!
Ha! I’m honored! Well, the first thing I’d say is check your systems and check to see what’s the most important things then skip the rest. But, it does sound like you had some other things come up like you poor Mama and a cold. When I feel overwhelmed I usually check my first things first list and I check my systems and then I get rid of stuff. I tried to wrap a few presents and write a few letters every evening starting after thanksgiving so that I didn’t get ganged up on at the end. But, I still feel like I over did it this year. Next year, I’m going to try to cut back further still. This year I trimmed down my decorating substantially. That helped a lot. Hope that helps! 😉
Thank you! Starting earlier would definitely help!