Six Amateur Writing Mistakes. (Learned From Experience!)

I’m on my tenth edit for my forthcoming novel, The Tethered World.

TENTH.

Or maybe it’s the eleventh. I’m not entirely sure.

I’ve lost count.

As a newbie writer setting out to plow my way through a fantasy story five years ago, I had a plethora of ideas, a decent amount of natural ability, and very little nuts-and-bolts. Thankfully, the nuts-and-bolts can be learned and the other two qualities honed and managed. Still, had someone shared with me what I’m about to share with you, I might only be on my seventh or eighth edit of my book!

The craft of writing never ceases to amaze me. There’s an endless amount of nuances to learn and so many ways to say something (all of which are NOT created equal!). I’m stunned at how I can set a project down, put a fork in it (aka: call it “done”), and come back a few months later and read all the glaring mistakes that I didn’t know existed when I thought I finished it. I’ll just tell you now, there’s really no such thing as “finished” when it comes to writing. There’s always something that can be improved on, restated, and tweaked. The secret is finding that place where you (and your trusted Beta readers and editor) are SATISFIED. I don’t mean, “hey, that’s pretty good” kind of satisfied. Rather, “Wow, what a great story, I couldn’t put it down” sort of satisfied.

There are no shortcuts with writing. No methods or 12 step programs. It takes pounding on the keyboard and revising, reading other writer’s works with an eye for what makes them special, and being able to handle criticism as you rework your masterpiece. However, some writing mistakes can be avoided or at least reduced to manageable. Taken to heart, these tips will help you avoid the label of “novice”.

After I’d edited my book THREE WHOLE TIMES (and feeling certain that I’d cleaned and tightened it up as much as humanly possible), I got it back from a professional editor-friend who decorated every last page in bright red ink. Though many things that she edited and commented on were unique to the sentence or storyline, most things stood out as a recurring, problematic theme. I remember thinking, why didn’t anyone tell me that this was wrong when I started out? These are easy things to avoid.

Well, no one told me because I didn’t know to ask! I didn’t know they were wrong so why would I be concerned? Yes, I had been to some writer’s conferences and workshops. No, no one ever explained these bad habits to me. Perhaps the speakers assumed that—like the use of adverbs—these items were blatantly taboo. I don’t know. Yet it’s not like these particular mistakes were my inherent, writerly shortcomings . . . because I’ve seen so many others make the same ones.

In an effort to help you avoid the avoidable in your editing process, here’s the short list of my writing mistakes that you can learn from!

1) Watch the use of ‘was’ and ‘as’ and other such ‘lazy’ little words. Though we use them all the time in daily life, they don’t make for interesting reading.

“Samantha was panicked about the missing keys, but realized her brother was the last one to drive the car.”

How could this be better stated? Can I get rid of one or both of the ‘was’ words used?

“Samantha felt panicked when she couldn’t find the keys, then remembered her brother drove the car the night before.”

2) Watch those ‘ing’ words. It isn’t wrong to use ‘ing’ words, they are just easy to wear out. One thing you want to be careful to avoid, in general, is words with a repetitive sound.

“He ignored the wound, refusing to break his stride. Ducking beneath pipes and dodging crates, he hit the crash bar on the exit door, wincing at the stabbing pain in his side.”

Although there’s descriptive action, and it may not be a boring scene, the “ing” usage is extreme. Let’s rework it:

“He ignored the wound and refused to break stride. Ducking beneath pipes and dodging crates, he hit the crash bar on the exit door and winced at the stab of pain in his side.”

The feel of the sentence stays the same in the makeover, but I eliminated three of the ‘ing’ words. It may help to read both sentences out loud to get the greater impact. Remember, one day a publisher may want to make a recording of your book! It is important that your words flow just as well when read out loud as they do silently. 

3) Don’t over use the same word. Worse than constant ‘ing’ words is the problem of limiting your word choice. Even if the same word is speckled only two or three times on a page, it’ll have a negative impact on the story (though readers may not know why they don’t care for it, publishers will know. They will see your writing as amateur because of it.).

“The dark hallway swallowed the detective. He used his phone to illuminate the hall so he could see which way the muddy footprints went. He followed them down the hallway, to the janitor’s closet.”

I would replace “hall” (second sentence) with “passage” or “corridor” or “space” for variation. In the third sentence the reader knows where the detective is standing and the phrase “down the hallway” can be edited out.

“The dark hallway swallowed the detective. He used his phone to illuminate the space so he could see which way the muddy footprints went. He followed them to the janitor’s closet.”

I don’t wish to post several paragraphs with a repetitive word for the sake of space, but the use of the same word on the same page (and for me, at times, even in the same chapter), will stand out! You are likely to use an important word more than twice, and are probably repeating other words as well, if you don’t put this problem on your editing radar.

On a side note, using outlandish, unheard of words to replace an overworked word is just as annoying. Probably more! Be careful that your thesaurus doesn’t become a way to pull your reader out of the story because they’ve no idea what a “gangway” is, unless they are British. Your word selection must be compatible and realistic to the story. Occasionally you may have a noun that has no other synonym, like “piston”, and you cannot avoid repeating the word. In such a case, use the word sparingly as you find other, creative ways to refer to it (i.e.”the broken car part”).

4) Vary the beginning of your sentences. You may be recognizing a theme here . . . variety! Diversity keeps readers reading (see what I did there? Swapped variety for diversity, woohoo!). Whether your story is first person or third person, you must learn to change up how you describe what’s going on.

“I walked to the blinds and dared to lift one of the slats enough to peek at the driveway. I gasped when I saw the Batmobile parked in front of the house. I didn’t think Batman would really come when I sent the Batsignal.”

Probably the only interesting thing about those sentences are the Batman references. How else could I describe this scene?

“I walked to the blinds and dared to lift one of the slats enough to peek at the driveway. Disbelief washed over me at the sight of the Batmobile parked out front. The Batsignal had been an act of desperation, sent with little faith of seeing Batman come to my rescue.”

5) Watch how you tag your dialogue. This tip is one in which variety is frowned upon. Publishers don’t want to read that your character replied, responded, repeated, or restated (the reader knows that by nature of what was previously said in the story). They don’t want to know that the dialogue was growled, grunted, or gasped.

“Said” will do. “Said” is considered an invisible word. One in which your mind glosses over and implies with the sentence. “Asked” is also considered invisible for dialogue questions.

If you use strong enough words in your dialogue and descriptions, those subtleties should be understood by the reader in a natural way, without needing to feed them the information.

Bad: “I’m too tired to think straight, so you’ll have to fix the kids’ lunch. I never get enough sleep,” Marie grumbled to her husband.

The reader may feel they need to reread the sentence with a ‘grumble’ once they get to the tag. Technically a grumble is a tone that carries over into our attitude when we speak. It isn’t the actual manner of speaking.

Better: “I never get enough sleep,” Marie said to her husband with a grumble. “You’ll have to fix the kids’ lunch because I’m too tired to think straight.” 

This is an improvement because the statement “I never get enough sleep” was moved to the beginning, and it is a stronger complaint than “I’m too tired to think straight.” The addition that Marie said it “with a grumble” is not wrong but not something you want to overuse because it’s wordy.

Best: Marie glared at her husband from beneath the covers. “I never get enough sleep,” she said. “You’ll have to fix the kids’ lunch. I’m too tired to think straight.” 

This last sentence conveys the mood in a more direct way. Adding some action before Marie speaks helps to set the tone. Breaking up the last sentence into two short sentences also adds tension. When people are upset they tend to get to the point.

Personally, I like to avoid tags and the overuse of ‘said.’ Though the experts claim ‘said’ is an ‘invisible’ word, it is annoying to me to read it over and over if there’s a lot of dialogue.

“Time to get up,” John said.

Marie glared at her husband from beneath the covers. “I never get enough sleep,” she said.

“I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well,” he said.

She pulled the covers over her head. “You’ll have to make the kids’ lunch. I’m too tired to think straight,” she said

For me, the word ‘said’ is not so invisible in that example. My preference is to use action, as much as possible, to show who is speaking and how they are saying it:

John brushed the hair away from his wife’s face. “Time to get up,” he said.

Marie glared at her husband from beneath the covers. “I never get enough sleep.”

John pulled his hand away, and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well.” He hoped he sounded understanding.

She pulled the covers over her head. “You’ll have to make the kids’ lunch. I’m too tired to think straight.”

The use of descriptive actions really “speak louder than words” when used to enhance dialogue. And you won’t over use the so-called invisible words, either!

6) Watch those passive verbs! As writers we are often drilled with the reminder to “avoid switching verb tenses” (big no-no) but are often in danger of using a passive voice that distances the reader from the story.

Mark had been sitting in the chair for an hour. He wished he had been more careful with his tone of voice when he had spoken to the teacher, and resolved that he would try harder to control his temper. He had always hated to be in time out.”

That’s an incredibly wordy, boring sentence! Let’s fix it.

Mark sat in the chair for an hour. He hated time out. He knew better than to use that tone of voice with his teacher and resolved to try harder to control his temper.

There, I feel better. As you can see “had” and “had been” is easy to run into the ground. And though the first example isn’t necessarily bad grammar, it is lousy writing. You only need to use the passive tense when talking about something that happened before something else that is in past tense.

Mark sat in the chair for an hour. He hated time out. He knew better than to use that tone of voice with his teacher and resolved to try harder to control his temper. Though he had been in time out every day this week, the boy wanted to reform.

Make sense? If not, please let me know. Those verbs can be a bit tricky and have caused a lot of editing woes. I don’t feel as if I have the whole verb-thing mastered, but learning to tighten up past-tense sentences makes for much better writing!

I hope you found this list of common mistakes to be helpful (MY common mistakes, anyway). It is but the tip of the editing-iceberg, I’m afraid. If you can apply these things to your writing process I do believe they will help you write cleaner drafts over all. I’m still learning as I go and would LOVE to hear the things you’ve picked up along the way that I may be doing to sabotage my work. Please share your lessons, your advice, and your expertise in the comments below!