Working the Suicide Hotline . . . An Interview.

Today I have the privilege of doing a character interview with the main character
from author RJ Conte‘s modern twist on The Beauty and the Beast fairytale. The Hotline Girl will be released on May 2nd, and you are invited to the book release party! In the meantime, enjoy learning about the intense and draining job of answering calls on a suicide hotline. Though the interview is fiction . . . the problem and solutions are quite real.

 

Welcome to my blog, Arabella Rose Beauregard.  I appreciate you taking time off work today to visit. Please, tell my readers about yourself and what you do.

Thank you, Mrs. FitzGerald.  It’s an honor to meet the author of “The Tethered World.”  Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me as well.

I work at the Dallas County Suicide Hotline Center.  I take suicide calls, listen, and counsel distressed people.

That sounds like a demanding, difficult job. How long have you worked in this field?

Two years.

Suicide is a preventable tragedy, and your job is an important part of that prevention. Yet it’s certainly not something just anyone can jump into. How did you become interested in helping in this crisis area? What sort of training was required?

I became interested because of personal reasons.  I have a personal history with suicide.  I have a master’s degree in counseling, and I double-majored in psychology and counseling.

Wow. Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with suicide in an up-close and personal way. Sounds like you turned a tragedy into an opportunity to help others. I really can’t imagine how emotionally draining your job must be. How do you cope?

I keep a rigorously strict routine.  Unless I’m working, I go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time, and eat a lot of the same foods.  I find structure and schedule to be soothing.  I help a lot of my callers with creating a structured environment for themselves.  I read a fun historical novel right before bed, and I drink a caffeinated soda and read the Bible when I wake up.  I clean house every Saturday, and I walk right after dinner.  The consistency of my life is my salvation.  Some people might think that I’m lonely, and I’d love a good friend or two every once in a while, but I talk to people all day long on the phone – and it’s draining – so I don’t mind the quiet peacefulness of my solitary home life.

That makes sense, when you put it like that. Dealing with chaos in the lives of others probably makes you crave routine. Do you ever become emotionally involved with the people you are helping? And do you ever get frustrated with a caller because they won’t listen to the help you are trying to give them?

In the beginning, I was more emotional.  I still cry some times, but I’ve learned to never let it show in my voice.  I’ve definitely had my fair share of nightmares when I’m sleeping.  I mostly get frustrated with the prank or perverted callers, though.  They are hogging up a valuable lifeline for real, hurting people.  To do what?  Play jokes and make lewd comments?  That frustrates me like nothing else.

Lately, I’ve been a bit more emotional than usual with a specific man who has called.  But that’s a long, personal story for another time…

Sounds like a daily roller coaster ride. How can you gauge how you are doing with a client? Do they ever call back to thank you or ask to meet you? If so, is that allowed?

We have a number of people working in the office, so the odds of getting me again aren’t good.  Although, I work longer hours than my coworkers—since I have no family or pets to get home to—so it’s possible they could get me again.  It’s definitely happened.  If someone is frequently calling the hotline, and not seeming to improve, we always take their calls, but generally start to push them toward finding a person in their life to help.  We are really supposed to be a one-time help for emergency situations, not an ongoing psychiatrist or counselor. 

Meeting our clients is definitely not allowed.  We’re allowed to give out our first names to make the phone call feel homier, but that’s all.  This is not about us.  There are a lot of sick and twisted people who call in.  We don’t want them knowing who we are.  There are a lot of protections set in place for people like me in these jobs.  I am the only woman on our floor though.  Most women can’t handle some of the men callers.

I can understand that. Is there a way that you can judge clients as “just needing attention” and “this person is serious and needs a miracle”? What are the markers?

It’s very dangerous to make those sorts of judgments, because people can fool you, especially when you’re only hearing their voice.  One time a teenage girl called in and just wanted to talk about her school day.  She cracked a lot of jokes and sounded right as rain.  However, I later heard her set down the razor she was holding after giving me tale after tale of getting bullied that day.  She never even shed a tear.  It took a while to come out, but the pain was there.  And there are others that call in sobbing and weeping and are actually no closer to real suicide than you or I are.  It’s best to treat each caller with utmost respect and give them your undivided attention.  Only God knows what’s truly in their heart.

That’s fascinating. You really seem to have a gift for caring about an individual and not treating your job as just a “job”. I definitely wouldn’t make it far in your shoes. Finally, if my readers know someone who is depressed and feels hopeless, what would you recommend? When is the line crossed from “struggling” to “intending to harm”, and how should they handle that?

Be involved in their life.  Call them, write them, invite them to join you on outings.  Pray for them in person or over the phone.  Even if they’re just harming themselves, and don’t seem interested in death.  It all starts somewhere.  Don’t take no for an answer.  But then, live your own life too.  Take care of your own mental and emotional help as well.  Some of these people can be depressed for infinitely great lengths of time, and you are just one person.  It’s between them, the Lord, their doctor, and their minister as well.  Never try to tackle and help a suicidal person on your own.  Do your part, but get professionals involved as well.  Suicide hotlines are actually something I would never recommend to someone, if I know a person who’s depressed.  I’d be driving them to the doctor’s office, taking them to the church of their choice, and visiting frequently.  A suicide hotline is a last resort for those who can’t, or won’t, talk to the better people in their life who truly know them and want to help.  There’s so little we can do over the phone.  We aren’t even allowed to call 911 due to the privacy policy of our clients.  Their phone numbers are encrypted in the same way bank accounts are hidden.  So, by all means, if you feel like you can’t talk to anyone else, call this number: 1-800-273-8255 (this is the American national line, and it’s free).  But please go seek out real people in your life to get you the help you need.

Great advice! Good to hear that we shouldn’t try to rescue someone singlehandedly. There’s a lot that goes in to being an emotionally healthy person. Thank you so much for your input today. Is there anything else that my novice mind has missed that needs to be presented? I don’t want to leave out anything important!

I am so grateful for getting to talk about my job.  I don’t think you missed anything.  If you did, I mentioned it myself!  Wait . . . Sorry, I have a private call on my cell. This guy keeps calling and I don’t know what to do about it . . . I better go! Thank you, Mrs. FitzGerald.

Thank you, Arabella Rose! This has been an enlightening visit on a difficult subject. Blessings as you continue to pursue people’s hearts so they will know how valuable they really are!