That Time Glenn Beck Ate My Book

Once upon a time I was invited to The Blaze studios in Irving, Texas to be interviewed on The Blaze’s Facebook Live page. This was quite an honor as well as a unique platform to share my novels with a wider audience. Nervous and and excited, I drove from my country home west of Fort Worth,  through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Oops. Wrong story.

Sorry Elf, I kinda highjacked your journey to NYC. Annnyway, I drove through crazy, bumper-to-bumper commuter traffic across the metroplex (wearing no make up, *gasp*) and found myself in the parking lot of Mercury Studios, home to Glenn Beck’s many TV/radio/web shows and platforms.

With no experience in the television world–not counting a commercial I made when I was 18 and my stint as a movie extra in the worst Keanu Reeve’s film ever made: Permanent Record—I hadn’t expected Glenn Beck’s empire to be so…vast. Several large buildings dominated acres of land with enough parking to support a diminutive shopping mall.

The woman conducting the interview met me at the door. Beautiful and vivacious, Kari Malinak is an acquaintance of mine that works for Glenn Beck. She happened to read and love The Tethered World, and thanks to her I was offered this interview opportunity.

The entire building was a feast for the eyes. Eclectic and artistic, I tried not to look too much like a rubbernecking tourist on holiday, snapping a gazillion pictures. But seriously, just look at these photos–so cool, right?

Kari was an impeccable hostess, eager to introduce me to the people that make Glenn’s empire tick. As we made our rounds to co-hosts, directors, cameramen, and artists, she made me feel like a NY Times best selling author (at least I suppose that’s how they feel, LOL). I peeked in on Glenn Beck filming one of his television segments in one of many studios, and walked through a few empty sets.

Then Kari and cohost Brad Staggs (or really, her smart alec cohort) filmed a short commercial about the upcoming segments for the day (including mine, *eeep!*).

The downside of all of this buzzing about…I still didn’t have any make up on. And there’s a reason I buy make up, y’know? Well, I tried to smile and make small talk and act like I walked around au naturel  all the time, but I was excited to finally arrive in the make up room where I received a professional makeover…right down to the false eyelashes 😀 (As a lackluster eyelash owner, this was a big deal!)

Once the face was properly fixed, Kari and I made our way to the Facebook Live studio. After further introductions, I finally got to take a picture with the man himself, Glenn Beck!

Sort of.
Okay, so the man himself was actually busy filming other things. He’s kind of a big deal.

But! There was this striking, crazy picture of Mr. Beck that was begging for a photo with me (if photos could beg). And since it didn’t look like I’d have the opportunity to tell him about my book in person, I decided to feed it to him while I could. Bite by bite.  Talk about a captive audience…

After the feast, Kari and I were mic’d and placed on this nifty red couch, and given directions about what camera to look at. We were filming before I knew it and the cameras caught me joking about using my “sultry radio voice” for the interview. Whoops.

I don’t actually have one of those.

In fact, I’ve always hated to hear my recorded voice. Once, when I was 17, I recorded the outgoing message on our answering machine. My uncle was one of the first people to call our house. After he heard my greeting and the “leave a message after the beep” spiel, he said I sounded like a “10 year old speaking from a belly of a whale”. I erased it and made my dad record a message instead.

Scarred me for life.

But there I was, speaking on camera with a polished, seasoned professional–and a good thing too! Kari was quite enthusiastic about my novels and kept the conversation rolling. After what felt like a hearty 5 minutes, my 30 minutes of fame was over. We’d filled a half an hour with book blurbs, stories behind the story, and lots of laughter.

I’ve no idea if I’ve sold a single book thanks to this interview, but I sure had a blast! Mercury Studios was a fascinating place to visit and everyone I met was gracious and friendly. You can watch the video at this link.

Afterwards, I saw Glenn Beck again. Okay, maybe I glimpsed him again. This time he was in a meeting in his office. Since he was tied up, I didn’t get an introduction…but I did leave a copy of The Tethered World and The Flaming Sword with hopes that he might at least pass them on to his family. One can dream…

It was a wonderful experience and much more comfortable than I expected it to be. A big thanks to Kari for making me feel so welcome, and for arranging this interview to begin with! And thanks to The Blaze for making it possible.

As an author I must take advantage of every opportunity the Lord brings my way. Even though it stretched me a bit to place myself on live TV (I mean, there are no DO OVERS!!!), I enjoyed it immensely and feel that it went rather well. I didn’t put my foot in mouth or act like a deer in the headlights even once. Although I did make some peculiar faces, I managed to keep calm and carry on.

And the moral of my story is…

Take every opportunity to feed good literature to readers. Even if you have to tie them up with caution tape and force feed it to them…mwhahahahah.

The End

Have YOU ever been on television or other social media? Tell me about it!