“As all of this begins to settle into a world I don’t fully recognize…I wonder…does it really matter if I write anything ever again?”
As the world seems to be burning down outside our front door…
As fear grips our hearts as we watch from behind masks, hoping COVID keeps its distance…
As neighbors report on neighbors…
As people die at the hands of both police and rioters…
As respect for anyone in authority is shredded and considered good and just…
As our friends and family of color struggle for reform…
As the news media leeches onto all that is vile in humanity to satisfy their bloodlust like parched vampires…
As people are bullied or shunned into virtue signaling while virtue itself is trampled on, redefined, and often obliterated…
As those of us who love ALL life, from the womb to the tomb, cry at the loss of life–from aborted innocent babies to those that are disadvantaged to those that bravely put their life on the line to fight for our country or as first responders…
As I personally navigate taking care of my mother who has had a stroke and can no longer take care of herself…
As all of this and more swirl in the world, the media, my city, my neighborhood, and my brain…
As I pray for hope and truth and justice to shine…
As all of this begins to settle into a world that I don’t fully recognize…
I wonder…
DOES IT REALLY MATTER IF I WRITE ANYTHING EVER AGAIN?
Will another blogpost make any difference for good?
Will another book about Nephilim and Dragons and Gnomes help someone or offer hope?
Should I walk away from this calling and do something that feels more worthwhile, substantial, and helpful?
I won’t lie.
It’s tempting.
These things feel so big. So insurmountable.
And I feel so small. So insignificant.
“But God.”
Those two words, often used in scripture, denote the evidence that God is at work despite the way things may look or feel. To quote a dear friend who has spent hours on her knees to fight for her daughter’s health and sanity: “God is always doing.”
He is?
He. Is.
And although I am not worthy of such a kindness, He spoke to me in a miraculous way about my calling as a writer (you can read about it here).
He knew what was coming in my future–this one here, that has now become my present.
He knew I would need something concrete to grasp onto when my strength and belief in such creative endeavors failed me.
He knew I needed a contract, a deadline, and an impetus to keep telling this quirky, hope-filled story that He began in 2009.
So, I’m going to keep typing away. Revising. Praying. Seeking clarity.
As the story takes shape and I make sense of all the ideas that come to me in shadows, in dreams, in snippets of conversations, in stories playing out in real life…
I believe I’m going to learn new things about myself. About my God. About these strange times unfolding and rippling through our country.
I pray I can be faithful and brave enough to write what He wants me to write. That my story will somehow offer hope in a time that feels awfully hopeless.
But God.
How about you? What seemingly small thing are you called to be faithful to during this season? Could we pray for each other to stay the course? Might we cheer each other on to finish well? Only God knows who our faithfulness is intended to touch. Only He sees the bigger picture and how our small acts of obedience thread into this beautiful tapestry He’s weaving.
On our own it might be a feeble and elusive dream, but we’re not alone.
We have the omnipotent power of these two little words:
But God.
Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 86:15
But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
Acts 3:15
You killed the author of life, but God raised him from the dead.
Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Corinthians 1:27
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
Ephesians 2:1,3;4-5
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins. . . and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved . . .
But God.
*This post first appeared on Christianfictionauthors.com
Thank you so much for sharing this! I needed this encouragement right now! Been thinking similar thoughts of “Should I even be writing right now?” in light of everything, so this post really spoke to me. Thank you for letting God use your words to put encouragement into other writers’ hearts! <3
Thank you for the encouragement! I’ve felt the same way lately and haven’t been able to put it into words. Having an anxiety disorder is tough right now, and being pregnant while our country tears itself apart makes me feel even more vulnerable and afraid every day. But I am excited for more stories from the Tethered World! Just the other day I was thinking I wanted to re-read the series again! Your books are shelter from the storm for me. 😊